Top Ten Worst Pickup Lines I Have Ever Heard

We all like to share hilarious pickup lines with each other in an attempt to make people laugh. However, pickup lines aren't really meant to be used in public. Do you really think that a cheesy, dirty, or just plain lame pickup line is going to work on any self-respecting woman? Did someone dare you to say the stupidest possible thing you could think of to some girl in the bar or are you completely clueless? In honor of moronic pickup lines, I have decided to share the top ten pickup lines that have ever been used on me, personally. It was hard to think of 10 times that I've actually gotten hit on at the bar, so don't get mad if the first few aren't that funny.

P.S. Some of the "pickup lines" were more conversational, so to make it more convenient for the more feeble-minded, I've put the pickup lines in italics and my subsequent thoughts in normal font.

10. "I like your shirt. White is the new black." Awww...now let's go shopping and you can be my new gay best friend.

9. "Are you going to the dance floor? Because if you are, I'll totally follow you there." Um, the bar doesn't have a dance floor...

8. "I've never noticed it before, but you've got a great hump." Gee, thanks. I know my ass is adorable, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let you touch it.

7. "I owe you a drink." Why do you owe me a drink? Did you lose a bet with your friend and your punishment was to buy a drink for an ugly girl in the bar? Because if you say you owe me a drink, that's what I'm gonna think. If you just want to buy me a drink, then say so.

6. "How about you and I just get outta here." I know many people have been confused about just how "naughty" of a girl I am, so let me set you straight. I'm never going to leave a bar to have sex with someone I'm not dating. End of story.

5. "Man, I'd really like to bend you over the trunk of that car and f*ck your brains out." Subtlety really isn't your strong point, is it? What kind of reaction are you expecting here? Even if I did know you, do you honestly think I'm going to agree to this? I must admit, though, you've got balls for even daring to say this to a chick.

4. "Hey, where are you going?" "I'm going to my friend's place to get in the hot tub." "Well, I have TWO hot tubs." Great. You sit in one and I'll sit in the other one.

3. "Are you in a gang?" Why would you ask that? Do I look like a gang member? Apparently I don't, but this guy was confused. He went on to explain that he saw a movie where the members of certain gangs wore belts like the one that I had on and so he thought I might be in a gang that was trying to keep it on the down-low by mimicking a movie. By the end of his explanation of why he used such a terrible pickup line on me, I almost felt bad for the guy. Too bad I didn't feel bad enough to keep talking to him.

2. "How much does a polar bear weigh?" Geez, where is this going... "Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm Zach." I must admit that I was pretty bitchy to this guy after he pulled this crap on me. I actually went as far as to ask him if that line ever worked before and if he thought I was stupid enough for it to work on me. I think I made him feel like a moron (which he totally was) and he even came up to me at the end of the night to ask if I really thought his line was that terrible. Yes, Zach, it was.

1. "Now, don't get mad at me or anything, but I have a business proposition for you." Oh, great. You probably want to pay me for sex...no...wait for it... "Do you do crack?" No, but I'm sure that if I did, I'd want to run off to a dark alley somewhere and shoot up a line with you, loser.