Yeah, WHAT?

It's hard to say that I'm not slightly disappointed for not getting what I really wanted for Christmas this year. I hoped; I prayed...all the while knowing that my one wish would be a long shot. No, I didn't want my two front teeth for Christmas. I wanted boobs.

When I tell people that I asked my parents for a new set of hooters for Christmas, most look at me sideways and ask if I'm serious. Of course I'm serious, people! Others who know me better already sense that I'm dead serious and they try to tell me that boobs don't matter. "You're fine the way you are," they tell me. "Boobs aren't important anyway," they say. In order to show just what a new set of tatas would mean to me, I would like to take this moment to explain myself.

I was a giant back in the day. In fact, I haven't grown since 6th grade. This lack of growth isn't only in height or weight, but also in the chest region. That's right, I have the boobs of a 6th grader.

I am prohibited from buying triangle top bikinis because I am unable to properly fill them out. I can't purchase a tube top because it would slide right off of my torso. The only reason that my boobs bounce when I run is because of the water in my bra.

I also get a lot of shit for my lack of breasts. People joke that it's nearly impossible to find my boobs. "It's impossible to squish what you don't have," they mockingly say. Just the other day my ex-boyfriend told me that my boobs looked bigger and followed that up by asking if I had bought a new bra (as he was trying to feel and see for himself). If that's not bad enough, even my dad, who barely says anything at all, will take a moment out of his day to make fun of my diminished assets.

Before break, a nameless someone tried to convince me that guys really don't care about boobs. Only seconds afterwards, saw a large-breasted woman on tv and said, "HELLO!" in that perverted talk that all guys know so well. Later, when he went to kiss me, the first place his hands wandered were right to my mosquito bite boobs. This is even after I've explained to him that I HATE it when guys go there. Why? Because I'm very self-conscious about it and I would appreciate it if attention were not drawn to that area. Don't try to tell me that guys don't care about hooters!!!

A lot of people would say that enhancing your figure through plastic surgery is a materialistic, vain thing to do. I would have to say that those people are usually the ones that are perfectly happy with their bodies and don't realize what it's like to feel unfeminine and inferior. If you know me, you know that I am one of the least materialistic people around. Although I don't like to go out in public looking like ass, I wouldn't say that I focus on my appearance.

Adding boobs to my figure would make me feel more feminine and sexy. I would feel more comfortable with myself by increasing the size just a tad. I don't need to have DDs or even a C. I just want to have some semblance of a chest and I think that's only fair.

If you think I'm silly, fine. It doesn't matter anyway because I still don't have boobs. However, if you feel my pain and would like to help me out, I'll be taking donations through my paypal account in order to hopefully fund my new knockers. Do the right thing and be a part owner. Invest in the future. Maybe I'll even let you touch them.