My Two Cents

The Minnesota Twins are in the midst of their longest losing streak of the season - 6 games. Watching them play has actually been painful for the last month or so. How can the Twins crawl out of the depths of crapdom and win the wildcard or perhaps the division? Here are my solutions:

• Thank God they released Bret Boone. That would've been one of my first choices. Sure, the guy has won Gold Gloves and has been an All-Star, but people age. His stint as a Twin can be summed up by saying the guy stunk worse than month-old garbage.
• While we're on the age topic, please get rid of Terry Mulholland. I cringe every time I see the man warming up in the bullpen. This guy says that he wants to pitch until he's 50! Are you kidding me?! 50? I swear that the only time he ever enters the game anymore is when the Twins are so far behind that they don't mind giving up 4-5 runs in an inning because they have given up hope on winning the game anyway. Terry, I'm sure you're a nice guy, but your baseball days are over.
• Can we please find an owner/GM that actually gives a crap about the game? Terry Ryan has worked hard to try to make the Twins craptacular. Even with refusing to pay the money to get the players, the Twins have actually been good the last few years. It's amazing to have a talented team with the size of their payroll. However, although Mr. Ryan said that he would dish out the cash to find us a power hitter before the trade deadline, our lineup didn't change. Shame on you.
• Quit whining and build a new stadium. Sure a ballpark alone won't bring W's, but more fans means more money. More money leads to better ballplayers. Better ballplayers = more wins.
• Sportswriters need to lay off the young guys. At the beginning of the season, they were comparing Mauer and Morneau to Mantle and Maris. That's a lot to live up to, especially when this is your first full season in the majors. Any of the young guys make a minor mistake, and it's big news. Let them grow as players before you ruin their spirits.
• Don't allow Cuddyer's at bat song to be "Behold a Lady." You're just asking to suck right there.
• Get rid of the fairweather fans. I hate people who are so down on the Twins right now that they refuse to watch. You're turning on your team when they need you most...
• Maybe Morneau needs a woman to calm him down...I know of one...
• Give some minor leaguers a chance to step up to the plate (literally). Send some of the guys down who aren't producing. When people know that they're vulnerable, they'll play better.
• I'm sorry, but Lew Ford just doesn't cut it in center for me. Maybe it's because I'm used to Torii Hunter flagging down everything in sight, but Ford just is not going to make the plays that we need him to make right now. Unfortunately, I see no other options. Just wanted to bitch about it.
• Why isn't Luis Rodriguez playing more often? He's been hitting fairly well overall and he isn't too bad of a fielder either. Give the guy a chance.
• Just make me the manager. If the team doesn't win, at least I can give them a pep talk after the game: "Okay guys. Pitching was great today, but we need to keep our heads in there up at the plate. Everyone who got a hit today can sleepover at my house. Now let's all hit the showers. I need to get out of this uniform."

The season isn't over. We still have a lot of games left to play. Sure, it isn't going to be easy to come back from where we are right now, but don't give up hope. The Twins are always out to surprise you.